Emotions on my sleeve

So, nobody has ever accused me of having a “poker face.”  My emotions are always plastered directly on my face, where a person could read my mind sitting clear across the arena. But, they can’t read  my lips. #cameltoe.

This is something that I am trying to work on. As I’ve been adulting for the last couple of years, I have decided that I no longer need to yield a NASDAQ scrolling ticker board to feature what thoughts are occupying my brain.

I’ve been practicing!  I’m working on my faces. This has not been an easy task! You can’t possibly realize the hours upon endless hours of practicing that’s been taking place in my abode! I just can’t go on like this anymore. So a big change has to be made!

Okay, here we go. I’m going to post a pic of the OLD me reaction, and then a pic of he new, reformed me!

hatred

Here’s my hatred. I loathe the person that I’m looking at so bad that I can’t possibly change the emotion in my face to reflect a better sentiment. Plus, my pits really smell.

big fake smile“Oh, is that you, my BFF?”  I couldn’t possibly be happier to see your squirrely face.  See, this is easy! It’s like opposite day!

disgustThis is my look of disgust. I pretty much have this look pasted on my face most of the day. It’s like having RBF. only it’s like RDF.  This look of disgust is usually reserved for either someone telling me the same story more than 3 times, or having to sit victim to either a close talker, or even worse, a spit-fire, rabid talker. We all know a couple of those.

please keep talkingPlease keep talking! I love your incessant, monotonous stories with zero plot lines and never-ending exit scenes. Keep it going because according to my facial features I am LOVING it.

do I look like an idiotThis is my “Do I look like an idiot (DON’T ANSWER THAT) face?”  I am sporting this look a lot. Evidently, I am a glutton.

big fake sileWell, if I’m going to come right out and ask you if I look like an idiot, then my follow up, healthier version must also contain some idiotic, glazed over bug-eyed stares.

talk to the handThere’s some skepticism going on here. As usual.  TALK TO THE HAND! Let’s see if the next version can obtain some sort of attitude adjustment.

open handsYes, it does. Oh my God. This is SO much fun. Okay, one more!

pissed to hear same storyThis is my face where I can tell I’m getting ready to get screwed. Like in a: “Tara will be happy to drive you!” or “We are going to a family reunion on Saturday!” type of pain.

This is the best long story everOkay, you can’t win them all. I still got screwed. It happens all the time. This venture is a work in progress!!

One last photo!  This is my face when I’m COMPLETELY FREAKING BORED OUT OF MY GLOID.

Your long story is the bestSince boredom is a huge thing for me, and I need to continuously have 40 projects at once happening in order to avoid this horrid emotion, here’s the face that I’ve been working on to to soften the blow.

Your long story is the bestSorry, but being bored SUCKS. And I’m probably always going to sleep. On that note, PEACE!

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