Gurl, is that Fall I smell??

Gurl, is that Fall I smell??

Dude. Do you have ANY idea at all? Can you smell what the fall is cooking? Do you feel the existentialistic importance of this time of year?

So, Target is high up there on my fall bucket list! With its high-fallutin’ dollar section, to the season cesspool of holiday products, it’s my go to. Ya hear? On days that I’m sad, days where I’m feeling content, days that I’m broke, days that I’m poor, and on stressful, as well as non-stressful times, Target is the necessary one stop therapeutic shopping extravaganza. Just look at this amazing, high quality $3 sign!

Look at my newly decorated faux fireplace mantle! There’s an oddly placed bottle of wine there. And, AND – I have recently discovered that I LOVE me some squirrels. It’s my new fall fave!

Oh! Why the F does Target tempt me with such seasonal scenttasticness with duplicates never to be found on the shelves again! I weep for your temporary presence! I have been to Target 3 times now searching for my soaps. I finally found one, ONE! seasonal soap today, but why can’t they budget and plan for normal, ordinary, run of the mill, not weird or socially awkward whatsoever – females with severe Christmas passions, or severe oddities, whatevs, to flock to the stores and buy out their seasonal delectables?

Bruh. I’ve found myself in a little quandary. I must to mention Target again. LOOK at these wine glasses!!

There are more things than Target that I’m thankful for this year.

We got ourselves a pool over the summer! And while the summer is in the past, can you even begin to fathom how many spectacular holiday photos Ima get of my 3 kids with the pool in the backdrop?

And, lucky for me, my mom has been super gimpy the last 2 years. She has gotten 2 nights each year for Black Friday shenanigans and let me tell you something right now. That shit is F-U-N. Mkay?

Oh my Gawd! My latest obsession is Christmas shirts! I like to find close to the most inappropriate saying I can find, have that phrase patched on to a T-shirt, bada bing, bada boom. “Jolly AF” shirt, here I come!

I do love me some Christmas crafts. I only did a couple this year, but they turned out hella fly. I mean fleek, wicked, and super lit. Like, I would ship it. Also, obviously Christmas crafts make my vocabulary much, MUCH cooler.

Listen – I know this is a Fall post, but there are people who decorate super early. I am one of them! But, I have to shout out to all you buffalo plaid people jumping on this trendy, quite plain, super vsco girl popularity, very short shelf life bandwagon. You have to stop! Every. Where. I. Turn. Buffalo plaid here, buffalo plaid there. Let’s leave this fugly plaid pattern on the full, dust ridden shelves where they belong!!

So, the moral of this story is that some people have ADD, and those people love holidays and all of the crazy BS that comes along with it. Especially the squirrels. And the soap. And the food! There is food on Thanksgiving, but I’m WAY too avant garde to mention that.

Wanna Read More?

http://hypeamerica.com/humor/running-from-insanity/thankful-for-fall-and-other-crap/