The evil, maniacal and stress-inducing concept of Elf on the Shelf

The evil, maniacal and stress-inducing concept of Elf on the Shelf

People!!!  I am so fortunate to be taking place in something called “Blogapolooza” for the hypeorlando blogging community.  Our topic is Guilty Pleasures,” and I have more than a few of those. Oh, and I have an hour.  ONE hour to get this all out.  LISTEN!!

So, one of the top spots on my list would most definitely have to be Candy Crush.  I LOVE that shit.  I started last summer, and I believe I got up to level 256 or something psychotically crazy, realized one day that my life was becoming a vast cesspool of nothingness interspersed with hyper-quick actions mimicking the motions of my life.  FAST, because I got new lives coming!!!  But, I had to delete.  It was a negative force.  To the 10th power.

I like reality shows like Jerseylicious (hot mess with high hair), and Real Housewives of New Jersey (do I have a NJ thing?) and many, many others.

But, my super fun, most special jolt of exciting spastic fun is Elf on the Shelf!  Yes?  Oh….Ok, so not too many people actually look forward to the special appearance of the Elf.  Ours is named Nicky. Not the most witty or comical name on the planet.  But, if I were to name it something I thought was super funny and pissy-pants inducing, I would have to call it <BLEEP> every single time.  And that kind of blows.  So, Nicky it is.

SO!  Every year around early November, I run around my house when nobody is home like an insane meth addict looking for a nickel.  I look in each child’s room, searching for the funny toy that they received the prior year that I have not used for a Nicky prop yet.  I gather my handful of festivities and hide them under my bed, so I really do not have to work very hard each evening after they fall asleep.

The first year was kind of bland.  I actually trolled through Pinterest, and accepted a few of their ideas.  That didn’t feel very good.  The next year, maybe a couple hand-me-down sloppy seconds from that site, and finally, I am in “do it yourself mode,” because, it is just a BLAST.   To me, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing the kids wake up the next morning and staring at this mischievous elf and sharing a chuckle.

Cant....breathe
Cant….breathe

I get so into this insanity that sometimes my lack of sleep from the night before has me passed out, and to my HORROR! I fall asleep and completely slack on moving the Elf.  The picture above, I think, is one that my husband did.  Poor Elf.  He needs some breathing treatments.

I see so many people on Facebook complaining about the “overachievers” who enjoy this task, and actually move the Elf every day.  To you, I say suck it up!  It’s for the kids.

Peace out.

 

 

 

 

 

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  1. OMG, too funny. 0/ Hi!! I’m a ChicagoNow blogger and did this same blogapalooz-hour challenge, only my guilty pleasure is macaroni and cheese. LOL! I did, however, write about Elfis, our Elf on the Shelf last year. I was never quite as into it as you are; the hubby and I were happy just remembering to move him every day. One suggestion for you? Share this bit again in November. You’ll see why…. 🙂 http://www.chicagonow.com/bug-coffee/

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