Ahem! So I did some pretty cool shit over winter break. We didn’t go on any extravagant vacations or get to see snow (well, most of us didn’t) but we did some cool stuff nonetheless. I’m still not sure about you, 2018, but I’m going to go ahead and say CHEERS, clink to this genius blog post.

First and foremost,shopping is always fun on winter break. We go shopping every Dec. 26th to partake in the DEALS, MAN! Usually my kids get a few gift cards, and I might skivvy up a few myself, and we hop in the family truckster and go looking for bargains!  This year, we were at it for over 7 hours. It was fun and mostly worth it and oddly satisfying. There is no shame in buying $3 Christmas kitchen towels that I will have to wait a whole year to enjoy. Pictured below is my child walking about 20 feet ahead of me and her siblings because she is too cool to walk beside somebody who is “Walking Like an Egyptian.”  Whatever, loser!

Another super fun thing we enjoyed was Light Up UCF. GO KNIGHTS!  While my husband and son enjoyed the Peach Bowl in person!!!!, me and the kids enjoyed a little ice skating and freezing camaraderie at Light Up UCF. And get this – I saved NINE DOLLARS on my bill using my student ID!!  WOOT WOOT. My kids love the hell out of ice skating and I think they would live in the polar tundra if they were able to. My Floridian children (and their mother) love them some chilly weather!!

Speaking of UCF – Can we even???????? My husband and son had the time of their lives in Atlanta at the Peach Bowl where they had a once in a life time experience watching this amazing team, AND they got to see snow. Again Sigh…

So one day my mom mentioned that it would be cool to go to this really amazing, semi swanky, uber trendy book store in Winter Park. After I got past my phobia of driving anywhere in a ‘downtown’ setting (the one ways and all of the jam packed lots!) then I found myself in a place that can only be what Heaven must be like. Kind of. This kind of thing just makes a sister giddy. If you ever have some news to break to me, like you have something that you really do not know how to break to me, but you also know that I’m so blinded by my own narrow vision of my own happiness, just bring me here. It’ll probably be wiser to bring me here first, then magically pop a wine glass in my hand, and tell me how young and youthful and super thin I have become (but choose your words wisely, because I am not that gullible) and while we are on the Hogwarts Express train as we leave this magical, miraculous bookstore, then you can break your boring, stupid news to me.

Look at this swag that I bought while there!  That orange book was a pretty penny, but what kind of restrained A hole can walk into this store and not buy a thing???

SPEAKING OF HOGWARTS, we got the kids Universal tickets for Christmas!  Who are we kidding? I got myself and the kids Universal tickets for Christmas!! It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve been to Universal, and the new Jimmy Fallon ride was the PIMP. That is an uncool analogy. The ride was great. It was exciting, New York, hilarious, and exhilarating. Of course, no trip to Universal is complete without visiting Hogwarts, Hogsmeade and jumping on the Hogwarts Express. With our annual passes, we are granted early admission to different areas in the park, so we got to enjoy this area an hour earlier!  It was sooooo worth it. I could probably visit there every day and never get sick of wands, witches, wizards, and other various W words. SQUEE!  I love Harry Potter!  I mean – our family so enjoys this particular theme park attraction.

I’m not going to lie – I was at this park for close to 12 hours, and I still cursed under my breath when we had to leave. There is SO MUCH to do and we could have stayed 3 more days solid!

Okay, so the whole reason that we really squeezed this visit in is because my daughter was dying to see Grinchmas. Not only did we get to enjoy this wonderful show, we got to visit with the Grinch before hand. I, for one, certainly appreciate a sarcastic SOB, and kudos to the hiring committee for this particular character portrayal. I cannot compute all of the comments that were made due to the constant laughter from his previous comments, but girl, lemme tell you. The funniest thing was when my 13 year old asked to pose with him so they could do a “selfie.”  “A WHATIE?” The Grinch asked my daughter.  “HAHA, a selfie. I will take our picture with my phone.”  My daughter holds the phone away from them and proceeds to take their pictures, when the Grinch screams bloody murder.  “AGGGGGGGHHHH How did I get in there???????”  

My kids laughed and laughed, and it was truly the highlight of their day. Great job, sarcastic, angry, negative, downtrodden Grinch!

OMG we got a ping pong table. I fancy myself a good player, especially when it’s one on one. Don’t pair me with no crap player because my athletic daughter will serve the ball every time to that stank player and win all of the points, and then it will crush my ping pong ego when she runs in the house and tells my husband: “It was two against one and I crushed them!”  So, don’t do that because that is just uncool.

Well, as much as I fought it because I do hate to see my Christmas time end, I do have to reluctantly say to 2018 “Welcome. As long as we can keep the quaint, posh book stores and my favorite theme park and the shopping malls and my great local University, then I won’t be pissed off at you anymore.”

But, you’re still on probation. I will let you know the consensus when the jury reconvenes before the summer as to how much of a bikini glow my body will exhibit.  I’m watching you, 2018.  If you don’t want to piss a sister off, you know what to do…