Heading To the Villages – Stories From Home, A Podcast

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Hopefully, everyone made it through last weekend with all 10 fingers still attached. Here in Florida we started fireworks on July 3rd and ended the evening of July 6th. 

If you took the over bet on Nathan’s July 4th hotdog eating contest you are in the money, For men the over-under was 71 ½ and the ladies it was 37 ½..  Joey Chestnut downed 75 dogs in 10 minutes, and Miki Sudo downed 48 ½ dogs. Both were a sweaty bloated mess, and dipping hotdogs in water is stupid.

Following up on last week’s Summer Travel Episode here’s a few additional travel-related thoughts.

As you head back into the wild, social distancing and local mask regulations being followed you’re bound to get thirsty, I know I will.

 Liquor, libations, adult beverages call it what you like, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind as you venture back into as Ron White would say “Public”.

  • The drinks will be weaker. You’ve been you’re own bartender since mid-March and I’m willing to bet you used a jigger for your first drink each day, I doubt you used it on the ones that followed. It’s OK I did or do the same thing.
  • Sit at the bar. This is for a couple of reasons. First, the conversations will be better, and second, you can eyeball your drink being made. There’s a big difference between Grey Goose and Stolli’s
  • Uber/Lyft – Buzzed driving is drunk driving. Beyond the selfishness of drunk driving and the damage it can cause a DUI is expensive. My ex-wife was hit by a drunk driver when she was approximately 6 months pregnant with our son. As you could well imagine the stress of the impact induced labor which modern medicine was able to stop. Thankfully everyone was OK, but a selfish act nevertheless. Yes, I love Liquor, libations, and adult beverages but I will not drink and drive.
  • Squirrelly booze, stateside this isn’t that big of a concern, but outside the country, it can be a reality. Bad booze is the stuff my grandparents called Moonshine and as they said, it would make you go blind. This is booze that’s mixed with methanol, think antifreeze. There are still places in the world without regulation on food and beverage. Bad booze can produce symptoms like:
    • Dizziness
    • Headaches
    • Vomiting
    • Abdominal pain
    • Breathlessness
    • Vertigo
    • Obscured vision

I know it sounds like you’re actually hammered and not suffering from alcohol poisoning, but be on the lookout. If you’re unsure about your drink put your finger over the end of the straw trapping some of your drink in it and give it a taste.

  • Don’t leave your drink unattended while you go to the restroom.

Thermometers Are Now a Mandatory Uniform Item for United’s Flight Attendants

Paddle Your Own Kanoo Flight attendants at United Airlines will now have to carry a thermometer around with them whenever they are on duty after the airline declared the item a mandatory item of uniform. Not that flight attendants will be trying to use the thermometers on anyone apart from themselves… United is issuing thousands of the devices so its crew members can carry out self-conducted health assessments up to twice a day in an attempt to identify possible COVID-19 symptoms as early as possible.

My temperature gets scanned every time I go to the gym, it takes seconds, and get this it’s painless. Do you know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste….. I need a soundboard with a rimshot.

Staying with United, United CEO Scott Kirby spoke with The Wall Street Journal and here were a couple of the take-awayss

Masks are all the rage and required by United in order to fly. Accordingly, United has temporarily banned five passengers for refusing to wear theirs. No flying for these five as long as masks are required.

In a “Cash Preservation” move United will continue to fly older planes instead of purchasing new. Right now one of the least desirable jobs has to be an Airplane Salesman.

Just in time for July 4th – Beverage service returns: Delta reintroduces select beer and wine on domestic flights with added safety measures.

Beginning July 2, domestic First Class and Delta Comfort+ customers will begin to see complimentary beer and wine on all flights greater than 500 miles.

Delta teams listened to feedback from customers and consulted with health professionals before bringing single-serve red and white wine, as well as Heineken, Miller Lite, SweetWater 420 and SweetWater IPA * back on-board.  Thankfully the health professional signed off on the SweetWater IPA * SweetWater 420, great Atlanta beers.

Delta posted “We take pride in always listening to our customers, and we know beer and wine are the adult beverages our customers want most. These selections are the first step towards a normalized beverage offering while we continue to keep customer and crew safety at the center of everything we do.” 

Flight attendants will pass the cans and single-serve bottles – which are complementary in both First Class and Delta Comfort+ – using serving trays to minimize touchpoints on-board. Since beer and wine selections have fewer touchpoints than other adult beverage options and are individually contained, they are the first to be reintroduced on-board as Delta brings back food and beverage options. 


Words with new meaning due to COVID

Shelter in place – Friday night when none of the kids are at home

TouchPoints – Sexy time

Social Distancing – Being an introvert

Flattening The Curve – My Monday morning diet strategy

Zoonotic  – This means that a disease was originally was detected in animals, but is now infecting people also.

Please don’t microwave your library books

Somehow, somewhere, someone decided that microwaving your library books was a good defense against the COVID. Apparently this isn’t a great idea because most library books have RFID tags in them. These tags are used for tracking the books as they go out and then back into the library….. They contain metal if you’ve never microwaved metal think mini July 4th. This homegrown procedure turn damages the book. 

If you’re that concerned about COVID tainted books ask your librarian about the procedure they follow when books are returned. However, this is an excellent way to deactivate those pesky RFID tracking chips.I’m pretty sure that the microwave treatment will kill bookworms.as well.


We’ve brought the CEO back to get her take on our summer travel and a follow-up to another topic on last week’s episode.

We had talked about a Kentucky Bourbon Trail tour, and due to my current work situation taking that amount of time off isn’t a reality. 

What distilleries were you looking forward to visiting?

  • Michter’s
  • Old Forester
  • Angel’s Envy
  • Evan Williams
  • Maker’s Mark
  • Woodford Reserve
  • Jim Beam American Stillhouse
  • Bulleit Distilling Co.

One name missing, Buffalo Trace, the reason is that they’re not part of the official Bourbon Trail. Believe me, we would’ve gone trail or not.

The reason Buffalo Trace isn’t included on the official Bourbon Trail due to the fact that they’re not on the board of distillers, but this distillery differs from the rest in Bourbon county in that it is free to visit. … Buffalo Trace also runs ghost tours throughout the year, which fans may have seen on the show Ghost Hunter

Buffalo Trace is home to the elusive Blanton’s, which we’ve been able to get two bottles in the last year.

Two weekends ago we did a short, 60-mile road trip to The Villages, and for a couple of reasons. First, you turned me onto the YouTube channel “The Villages Florida Newcomers

Where Jerry and Linda guide viewers through their experiences in the wonderful retirement community.  They detail their adventures as new homeowners

Covering such topics as:

  •  health care, 
  • amenities, 
  • golf, 
  • landscaping, 
  • home buying and more, 
  • Is it too hot? 
  •  How is the health care system there?  
  • Is it a good place for singles? 
  •  How expensive is it to live there?  
  • Is there a danger from hurricanes? 

Me being me I took a deep dive, watched most of their content.

The other reason was sort of a myth-Busters 2020 tour. For years the word-on-the-street has been that The Villages has the highest reported number of STD cases in the country. It’s really hard to substantiate this but consider lots of singles and couples in the Autumn of their lives, mix in modern medicine and it’s possible to have named this Pound Town.

The myth we were looking to bust was the Loofa Code. Loofa as in what you wash within the shower and residents tie one onto their car, or golf cart, more on that later, and the color of the Loofa indicates your friendliness or openness to partner-swapping or swinging.

Here’s the alleged color code.

White – Novices and beginners

Purple – Voyeur, and people who like to watch

Pink – Soft swap. People who like to do with others in the room.

Blue – The lowest level of a full swap. Those who can play well with others.

Yellow – Mid-level swap. For those who want to have fun but are still nervous.

Black – Full swap. Those who say what the hell let it all go down.

Teal – Bisexual. For those who want to increase their dating chances.

Let’s talk about The Villages first and then come back for the verdict on the Loofa Code.

  • Drove up 441 through Tavares America’s Seaplane City.
  • Exited onto County Road 466.
  • I expected a huge welcome to The Villages sign similar to Disney World, the reason we didn’t one was that we were on DR 466
  • Every neighborhood was gated.
  • Headed to the sales center as Peter & Bertie Nussbaum 
  • Pulled an audible right as we walked in claiming we were doing recon for out of state parents looking to relocate. We were wearing masking so he couldn’t tell I was full of crap.
  • The nice sales center, full of literature. As someone who’s career includes putting ink on paper it’s a lot of literature.
  • They didn’t try to sell us and they were open with information
  • There’s a monthly amenity fee, for us road warriors think resort fee.

For $162.00 each month you receive

  • Free golf on all executive courses. There is a trail fee if you use your own cart 50 golf courses
  • Swimming
  • Tennis
  • PickleBall
  • Bocce Ball plus more
  • Over 2000 planned activities each week
  • Pool access, over 100 pools
  • Fishing lakes
  • Parks
  • Fitness Trails

With right around 60k homes that’s in excess of 9.5 million dollars each month.

They sell around 400 homes each month with a 50/50 split between new and resell.

Lifestyle Preview Plan – $99.00 per night 

  • Stay 4 – 7 nights
  • Fully furnished villa
  • Access to Golf Car
  • Bikes
  • Free Golf 
  • Movie Tickets
  • Possible 2020 Summer Vacation?
  • The secret was the red button.
  • Zillow wardriving gave us some insight
  • A Publix and Winn Dixie in the same shopping center complete with golf car parking
  • Golf Cart store and prices, golf cart gas station
  • What is your official verdict and then I will offer up my verdict?
  • Last weekend we did a quick Antique tour
  • First stop was the Antique Emporium
  • 2-story building we’ve been past many many times
  • Anything unique?
  • James Bond books I want to collect
  • Left with two-pipes and a Pineapple ashtray for $8.00 turned out it was worth more.

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